


Fruits Ripening

by qwanderer



Series: cherry trees can grow in space [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, M/M, S6 Spoilers, and already jossed by the s7 trailer, and probably some therapy, thanks s7 trailer, the fluffiest angst ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 14:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15415500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qwanderer/pseuds/qwanderer
Summary: "Takashi Shirogane, no matter how strong I grow, no matter how much more I can handle, you will always be my hero.""That's good," said Shiro, pulling him closer. "Because you've always been mine."





	Fruits Ripening

Pidge and Hunk were down in the depths of the outpost again, having disabled all the defense systems and promised to be more careful. Shiro and Keith were lying side by side on the grass outside, talking quietly about everything and nothing. 

"Tell me more about what Yellow's like," Keith said. 

Shiro thought about that for a moment. "Like a hug," he said. 

"You're making me jealous." 

"Of me, or the lion?" 

Keith huffed a breath. "I don't want to pilot Yellow." 

Shiro chuckled. "Don't be jealous," he said. "It's like hugging Hunk. You know it's different with you than with any of the others." 

"Yeah," Keith said. "I know." His fingers roamed across Shiro's new arm. "I still get weird and jealous about a lot of things, even if I know they don't make sense. But it's easier to ignore than it used to be." He laughed lightly. "I'm kind of jealous that Pidge and Hunk were the ones to do this for you, even though mostly I'm just glad you got the chance to have it." 

"It's... pretty incredible," Shiro said. "I'll have to remember to thank them properly. I was distracted before." 

"Is it weird?" Keith asked. "Your whole arm changing again?" 

"It's very weird," Shiro said. "But it's so much better than every other change that's happened there. It was done with care and kindness and consent..." His eyes started to sting as he spoke. 

"See," said Keith. "That's exactly the kind of thing that makes me weirdly jealous. Why is it Pidge who gets to make you cry?" 

Shiro chuckled through his tears. "You're the one who's here," he said, half whispering. "You're the one I feel okay being like this with." 

"Thank you for that," Keith said, and rolled over so he could lean down and kiss Shiro's tears away. Shiro turned his head, reaching for Keith's mouth with his own. It was so good to be here, alive, with Keith and able to touch him. 

From the look in Keith's eyes when he pulled away, he felt the same. Keith propped his head on one hand, looking at Shiro as if he never wanted to stop. Shiro hummed in contentment, happy just to let him. 

"So Yellow's like a hug?" Keith asked. "How do you fight and hug at the same time?" 

"It feels less like fighting," Shiro decided after a moment. "Not like the stakes are less, but almost... Yellow has this cosmic sense of perspective. The moment doesn't matter so much and it's all about the whole fight, what we're fighting to protect. It's about when not to act as much as it's about when to act." 

Keith chuckled. "Kinda sounds like the opposite of Red," he said. 

Shiro grinned. "See, that's what I would've thought. I mean sometimes I feel like I know Red because I know you. Red's different with Lance, though." 

"I cannot even imagine how they get along," Keith said, eyes wide. 

"But Blue talked to you, right?" Shiro asked. "Are Red and Blue that different?" 

Keith frowned thoughtfully. "I mean... Blue's more of... a feeling, for me. A pathway, or a map. She was always... bringing me to something else. To the Castle. To Red. To you." He shook his head. "I don't think I could pilot Blue. Blue's mind is too... orderly. She has a very definite idea about what every maneuver should be like, and it doesn't leave as much room for improvisation and instinct. Or, that's the feeling I get. I'm sure Lance and Allura see her differently." 

"They're all pretty different from each other, I guess," Shiro mused. "That's the point of them being color coded." 

Keith snickered. "Did you just hear the Holt siblings in your head?" 

"Yeah. 'Because what are they, animals?'" He laughed. "It's actually a good question." 

"Guess it is. They're lions, but they're also people, but they're also ships." Keith gave a little asymmetrical shrug. "Life is weird out here." 

"Yeah, it is," Shiro agreed. "So, is Red's personality louder, or is Black's?" 

Keith laughed again. Shiro loved that they were at a place where he could hear that so much. "How do you even compare something like that?" Keith asked incredulously. "They're loud in such different ways." He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "Black reminds me of the kind of people who are loudest when they're quiet, you know? They just... they lower your voice in that serious way, and you just can't help but listen." 

Shiro made a slightly uncomfortable noise. "I think Black might have had to do more yelling with me," he said. 

Keith burst out laughing. "I can see that," he said. "'Shirogane! Pay attention when I'm talking to you!'" 

Shiro chuckled along with him. "Pretty much," he admitted. 

"You're ridiculous sometimes," Keith told him, and plunked himself down on Shiro's chest, chin pillowed on his hands. 

"But you love me," Shiro reminded him. 

"Yeah," said Keith softly. "I love you." 

"I love you too," Shiro said. 

Keith's eyes went soft. Then he chuckled a little. "Heard that loud and clear," he said. "You can always get me to listen to you." 

Huh. "Was Black different, with me in its head?" Shiro thought about how long he'd been in Black. "From the way it was on the planet where those lizards cornered me, or since I've been back?" 

Keith sighed, low and long. "I don't know how much of it was just my imagination. Wishful thinking. But I missed you so much, and I felt close to you in Black. Being in that seat? I was reaching for you the whole time." 

Shiro lifted his arms, wrapping them around Keith. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have asked. Ruined the good mood, huh?" 

"It's okay," said Keith. "As long as you're here and breathing, I don't mind so much thinking about when you weren't." He reached up to run his fingers across Shiro's face, tracing the edge of his scar. 

"So you missed me even when I was... when Kuron was here?" Shiro asked. 

"He was you, and he wasn't," Keith said slowly. "I always kind of knew that. I could tell you'd changed. But I didn't know where to start to get the rest of you back, and... it hurt too much to be around you, when you were like that. I'm sorry. It kind of feels like I gave up on you. But I never did. Not really. You know that, right?" 

"Of course I do," Shiro answered, holding him tighter. "I wouldn't be here right now if you had." 

They were both silent for a moment, just looking at each other, reassuring themselves that they were okay. 

"I guess..." said Keith. "I guess Black did do more yelling when you weren't part of him. But it's hard to tell if that was because of Black, or because of me. I was yelling right along with Black the first time I piloted it. And when we were fighting those walking turrets, Black and I were both pretty annoyed at the whole situation. With you in its head, Black felt more patient." 

"I think if we hadn't been patient, we would have gone nuts," Shiro said. "There was so much we wanted to tell you." 

"You got pretty close, huh?" Keith asked. 

"We needed to be. For everything that happened." 

Keith's smile now was a little crooked. "So. Are we gonna share custody of Black now?" he asked. 

Keith was comfortable in Black, comfortable leading Voltron, the way Shiro had always imagined he could be. But he'd clearly give it all up in a moment if Shiro asked. 

Shiro didn't want to ask. 

"I don't think I'm meant to be going back to Black," he said, realizing as he said it how true it was. "Black's always going to be there in my head, yeah, but... I feel like I'd like another shot at being backup from the Castle. Do it right this time. Prove to myself that I can, without Haggar in my head." 

"Yeah, I can see that," Keith said. Keith was always trying to prove himself, so Shiro thought he really did understand. Then the light in Keith's eyes went mischievous. "So you want to be something other than a paladin?" 

Shiro chuckled. The others must have told him about the Monsters and Mana game. "I'm not sure," he said. "I think... there might be some other way for me to be a paladin." 

"What do you mean?" 

Shiro wasn't sure himself. He wanted to be the hero the others clearly saw him as. But the lions all had other heroes to pilot them. Shiro felt like he was reaching out to the universe for a new place in this fight. "I'm not sure, but... I still dream about the white lion sometimes. I think it's trying to tell me something." 

Keith combed his fingers through Shiro's hair. "If anyone can figure it out, it's you." He leaned down to kiss Shiro again. 

Shiro felt at peace with his life. 

"I FOUND IT!" Pidge ran out of the outpost, yelling. 

"What did you find," Lance asked warily, "and is it dangerous?" 

"A Galran hyperdrive core!" Coran exclaimed, taking it gingerly from her hands. "Everything looks intact. Difficult to say, though. It's not quite as old as the Castle was, but it's close." 

"I figure the older models will be easier to construct an interface for that will work for the lions," she said. "Since the lions were built when the Galra Empire was at peace with Altea." 

The discussion went on, and Shiro tuned it out, content in the knowledge that all his people were safe and they were working on a way to get home. 

"Seems like that battle really tired you out," Keith commented. 

"No," Shiro objected, then corrected it to, "Well, kind of. But I just also feel like it's easier for me to relax, now that the arm thing is taken care of and I know I can pilot if I need to." 

"And since you got a hug from Yellow," Keith added. 

"And that," Shiro agreed. 

* * *

So getting back to Earth turned out not to be the hard part. 

Everything that happened once they got there? That turned out to be the hard part. 

They spent most of the first week back on the planet in the Holts' kitchen, huddled together catching up on events and making plans. 

Thankfully, Sam Holt had kept a copy of the Castle blueprints, rather than turning over everything to the Garrison, as they'd asked. Also thankfully, he hadn't gone straight to the Garrison. He'd gone to see his wife first thing, to let her know that Pidge and Matt were alive and well and fighting the good fight in a universe-wide space war. His wife had then insisted that before he returned to the Garrison, he should make at least one public appearance so that the folks at the Garrison couldn't disappear him, the way they tried to disappear the truth about Kerberos, and also Shiro, when he'd returned. 

She was a smart woman (anyone who'd raised Matt and Pidge would have to be, after all), and she probably saved them the trouble of rescuing Sam Holt a second time. 

That wasn't going to be necessary, at least. But there was a lot to do if they wanted to build a new teludav-capable ship to get Voltron back into the fight. Sam had already begun the work, by telling the story of Voltron, the Kerberos mission crew, his daughter and her schoolmates, the Alteans and the Galra. 

He was just one man with a wild story and a few pieces of futuristic tech, and he hadn't quite managed to get public opinion on his side, not with the Garrison doing their best to discredit his story. 

Earth... needed to see The Voltron Show. 

Keith laughed out loud when Shiro told him what he'd realized. "Oh, my god, Shiro, your face," he said. "It's so tragic that you have to strike heroic poses _on your own planet._ " 

Shiro could feel his face getting hot. "The shows we put on were a little more than that," he said. "And I'm happy to do it all again. But it's been so long since we were back on Earth, and last time I didn't really get a chance to enjoy it properly. I'd really like to, this time." 

All Shiro wanted to do was breathe the Earth air and look up at the blue sky with its old steady constellations and remember what it meant to be human. 

"Yeah," Keith said softly. "I get that. I kind of forget you haven't had a break for a couple years, since I spent most of the last couple years doing nothing but having a break. Appreciating where I came from." He kissed Shiro on the forehead. "You deserve a chance to do the same. I think it's my turn to lead Voltron." 

"Are you going to play me?" Shiro asked, feeling lighter. "Allura will be disappointed if she still has to play you." 

Keith laughed. "I think it's time we gave the show a complete overhaul," he said. "Earth hasn't heard that much about Voltron, but Sam's mentioned Allura piloting Blue and Lance driving Red. I could play you, if you want, but I think Earth could get used to me in Black." 

There was something a little anxious in Keith's eyes as he offered to pretend to be Shiro. 

"You're the Black Paladin," Shiro told him, reaching to push Keith's hair out of his face. "You should be yourself." Then he shrugged. "Besides, maybe we shouldn't focus on me when we talk about Voltron. I'm Kerberos crew, and that whole mission is kind of a muddy area in the public view right now." 

Keith's face went hard. "I hate how they talk about you," he said. "I hated it when they said it was your own fault you were dead, and I hate it now when they say you can't be trusted. You shouldn't have to hide." 

"I'm not...." Shiro said, then he paused to think it through. "I'm not hiding," he confirmed. "I'm going to tell my story. I'm going to do my best to set the record straight. But just for now, we need Earth to see Voltron, and the war, clearly and simply, without my face distracting from it. My face has probably been broadcast enough for a while." 

"Yeah," Keith said. "Okay. I'll be Keith, the Black Paladin, and you just be Shiro, a human taking a well-deserved vacation on Earth." 

Shiro smiled. "When you're a big TV star," he said, "don't forget about little old 'just Shiro'." 

"Never," Keith said, reaching to twine their fingers together. "Takashi Shirogane, no matter how strong I grow, no matter how much more I can handle, you will always be my hero." 

"That's good," said Shiro, pulling him closer. "Because you've always been mine." 

* * *

Keith made a great Black Paladin, on stage as well as in space. Allura was thrilled to be representing herself again, and the others were happy to be back on Earth. Shiro watched the show on TV when it was broadcast, his fellow paladins beaming back at him. 

It was a good feeling. 

They made progress quickly after that. Before they knew it, investors were lining up to get in on the ship-rebuilding project. There were a lot of engineers who were interested as well, but once momentum started building, it became clear that there were just too many questions that only Pidge or Hunk could answer, because if their experience with Altean and other extraterrestrial tech. 

Pidge was put in charge, and Hunk and Sam deferred to her, but were in charge of their own areas as well. Coran was a wonderful resource, but because of his unfamiliarity with Earth's current technical abilities, he ran into trouble if he tried to talk directly to the new engineers rather than the top three. 

They kept Keith busy consulting about the layouts for the piloting controls, but he kept his word and always remembered to spend time outside with Shiro. And they all got together back at their home base of the Holt kitchen at least once a week, for family meals. 

"How different is this ship going to be?" Shiro asked them. 

"Well, resources are finite," Pidge explained, "and this is going to be more just a base for the Lions of Voltron, rather than the base for the entire Altean government, military, and diplomatic outreach. So it'll be smaller, sleeker, with a lot less stuff like grand halls and olympic swimming pools." 

Lance pouted. "Oh man, no more pool? That sucks. Maybe just a little swimming pool?" 

Pidge sighed in a put-upon fashion. "Yes, Lance, I will build you an infinity pool in the training room." 

"And a hot tub?" he asked eagerly, eyes big and pleading. 

" _And_ a hot tub." 

Lance blinked. "What, really?" 

"Those are both not just good training tools but also therapeutically useful for the treatment of injuries," Pidge said. "So yes." 

Lance's expression was now utterly bemused. "How the everloving quiznak do you make a hot tub sound boring, Pidge?" 

"It's a gift," she said placidly. 

* * *

They built the new ship in a space dock. The lions ferried components up when they could. They were just starting to talk about rocket boosters for the larger components that had to be built on Earth when Matt Holt came back, with a cargo ship big enough to do the job and a load full of extraterrestrial refugees. 

"Happy to see me?" Matt asked his sister. 

Pidge grinned wickedly. "I'm _really_ happy to see that ship." 

The new ship came together quickly after that, and Shiro was eager to see it in person. If he thought about it, it was the strongest feeling he'd had in a while that wasn't about Keith. 

He dreamed about the White Lion again, and it stayed with him all through the next day. 

"So what are you naming the ship?" Matt asked that night at dinner. "It's gotta be something more creative than The Castle of Lions II." 

Shiro was surprised he hadn't thought about it. 

"I was thinking..." Pidge said. "The Felidae." 

"Solid," Matt said. "It's scientific, it's got cats in it, it's distinctly Terran." 

Shiro nodded slowly. The name felt right. "It's a good name," he agreed. 

* * *

The Felidae somehow managed to look like a cross between a four-nacelled Starfleet ship and a cat waiting to pounce. When Shiro first saw it in person, he felt a strong sense of familiarity, almost deja vu, like he'd known the ship all his life, or at least for years. 

Standing behind Keith's seat in Black as he piloted the lion into its bay, he could tell Black liked the new ship, and felt at home here. 

All the lions found their places, and the Paladins, friends and family poured out and into the finished ship. It was a day for celebration, half ship-launching, half housewarming party. Hunk had taken some of his favorite alien foods and combined them with some of his favorite Terran foods, and the results of that exploration were being passed around, along with soda and champagne. 

Shiro jokingly held a flute of champagne above Keith's head, just to see Keith glare. 

"Give me that," Keith said. "Come on. You know I'm two years older than my IDs say I am." 

"Besides," said Pidge, walking by with her own half-empty flute, "there's no such thing as a legal drinking age in orbit." 

"Watch yourself with that, Pidge," Shiro called after her, barely registering when Keith managed to snag the glass out of his hand. 

"I just finished building a spaceship," she told him with heavy emphasis, red-cheeked. "I want to celebrate. Don't worry, Romelle's Green's designated driver for the night." She wandered off. 

"That's a good point," Keith said. "I promise, just the one. I know Black's mine." 

Shiro didn't quite feel like debating that, even though he knew Keith had taken on a lot. They all deserved a night off. But knowing Keith had Black, that was good. 

The party was mostly in the living area, which unlike the Castle of Lions, contained the lounge, dining area and kitchen all in a space not unheard of in a normal Earth house. There were maybe thirty people in it right now, so it was a noisy mess. 

Shiro felt drawn in the direction of the bridge. Something more than simple curiosity, he thought, or a yearning for a little more peace and a view of the stars, although all of that was there, too. 

He knew he'd ordinarily be suspicious of any urge like this, anything alien and definite that he couldn't tell the origin of, but just as his newest arm was all Pidge, this ship was all Pidge, in all the important ways. 

And Black gave an encouraging nudge in his mind, so it was probably alien and strange in the Altean magic way, not in the Galra plot way. 

His steps drew him to the center of the bridge, to the platform which stood a step above everything else. It really was the best place, for a view of what was happening both around the ship and inside of it. He could recognize the stations and their uses from the similarities to the Castle of Lions, and from the changes he'd heard discussed around the Holts' table. It was a good solid ship, and Shiro thought it would serve them well through whatever they faced next. Wherever in the universe their missions took them. 

A glow from under his feet interrupted Shiro's thoughts. He looked down to find that the twin pillars of the Teludav control were rising up under his hands. 

"What the hell?" he murmured. 

"Huh," he heard from behind him. "Wouldn't have called that." 

He looked around and realized that all the other Paladins had drifted in after him. From the noise, the party had continued without them. 

"So you can operate a Teludav?" Hunk asked, brows furrowed in confusion. 

"I don't know. I didn't think so," Shiro answered, looking again at the controls under his hands. "This has never happened before. I stood on the bridge of the Castle of Lions and nothing happened. How is this possible?" 

"Shiro," Allura said softly. "Your face." 

"What?" Shiro asked. "What about it?" 

"The Mark of the Chosen," she said with awe. 

Shiro shook his head, struggling to absorb all this. "I don't understand. I'm not Altean." 

Keith was close beside him, and Shiro felt the drift of familiar fingers through the short, stark white hair on the back of his head. "You're a lot of things, Shiro," he said. "You're a miracle brought back to life by Altean alchemy. By your bond with Black." 

Shiro wanted to question. But the controls felt ready under his hands. They felt right. Like the control sticks of a lion, ready to leap into battle... but steadier, more patient, in some ways, than even Yellow. 

Pidge had a tiny smile on her face. 

"You know something," Lance accused her. "What do you know?" 

"The Castle of Lions was pure pre-Quintessence-Field Altean tech," she said. "This ship? It's more of a fusion. I've been studying organic self-sustaining processes and their relationship with quintessence. If I understand correctly what Coran's told me about the original Castle, before the discovery of the quintessence field, Altean quintessence was the only way to power a ship through wormholes like these, because Alteans were the only type of being that regenerated quintessence fast enough to use it for large-scale 'magic.' The comet changed that." 

"Ugh," Lance said. "I'm sorry I asked." 

"Tee-ell-dee-arr," Pidge drawled, "if I've done my job right, Felidae should be alive enough to self-repair like the lions, and create wormholes with... _mostly_ her own energy." She peered at Shiro contemplatively. "There still has to be an Altean alchemist at the helm. Or someone with the same energy-channeling capabilities. But it shouldn't drain them the way it sometimes does Allura." 

Felidae was alive. And she was a fighting ship. The connection Shiro felt waiting for his input was somewhere in between the way his nerves controlled the arm/bayard Pidge had built for him, and the way it felt to pilot a lion. She was ready to fight, and she welcomed Shiro to pilot her. 

Shiro looked at Allura. "This is still your place," he said. 

Allura shook her head. "Right now," she said, "my place is Blue." 

"Listen," Keith said, low and intense. "There's no one I'd rather have watching my back. Watching Voltron's back. Keeping our exit open for us." 

That could work. 

But it still felt so strange to be standing up here, poised to do alien magic. 

"Is this really okay?" he asked, not really sure who he was asking. "Is this really what I'm meant to be doing? I don't know alchemy, I'm just human." 

"You told me the white lion spoke to you," Keith reminded him. 

"In dreams. What if they were just dreams?" 

Keith's hand hovered near his Marmoran knife. "If what you are brings something good to life," he said, "don't question it too hard." 

Shiro contemplated him, knowing how hard-won that conviction was. "Okay," he agreed. "I can do this. I can pilot Felidae." 

Allura beamed at him. Pidge jumped and shouted. Romelle looked on with determined approval. "Right on," Lance cheered. Hunk just smiled, half his attention on making sure a very tipsy Pidge didn't fall over and crack her skull open. 

Keith... 

Keith looked like he was holding himself back from something, something big. 

"Hey," Shiro said, reaching out towards him tentatively. 

The corners of Keith's mouth twitched up just a little, in an aborted smile that looked like it threatened to crack his whole facade if he let it grow into any kind of actual expression. 

"Keith?" Shiro asked, brow furrowing. 

With a voice hoarse with the effort of holding whatever it was in, Keith said, "I'm okay. I'm happy for you." He still didn't reach for Shiro's offered hand. 

"Keith." This time it wasn't a question. It was a soft but insistent demand. 

Keith shook his head. "This is your moment," he said. "This should be your moment." 

Shiro stepped away from the columns, letting them sink back into the floor and puting all his attention on Keith. "I can put my moment on hold to give you one." 

Keith's eyes held an edge of panic now. "I'm not asking - " 

"I know," Shiro reassured. "You don't need to." 

Keith's face crumpled. He rallied admirably, looking around at the other paladins, who were at least mostly awkwardly averting their eyes. Lance was attempting to look as if he wasn't looking. The green paladins were making no such attempt. 

"Black?" Shiro asked, gesturing to the bays. Keith nodded jerkily. 

They didn't touch on their walk to the Black Lion. Shiro desperately wanted to comfort Keith, but he knew Keith wasn't going to allow that, at least not until they were alone. Pressing the issue now wasn't going to help anything. 

Sitting down in Black's pilot seat was strangely peaceful now. It was no longer something he associated with fighting, but instead something he associated with Keith. He held out his arms, welcoming Keith into them. It was good to have Black with them for this. Black was solid, and they both trusted her implicitly. 

Keith made a noise that sounded as if it were being torn from him, and clambered into Shiro's lap in an uncoordinated rush, wrapping his arms tight around Shiro. 

"Keith, what...?" 

Keith opened his mouth as if to answer, but the only sound that came out was a sob. Stubborn and persistent and clearly angry at himself, he kept trying to form words instead, but it was as if something had broken and wouldn't go back into place. It was frustrating to watch, let alone how it must have felt from his side. 

"Hey, hey," Shiro said, wrapping Keith in his arms. "Keith. Hey, it's okay, right?" 

Keith just clung tighter, giving in to the tears. 

Shiro rubbed his back. "Okay, I'm here. Just keep breathing." 

He was so confused, but all he really needed to know was that Keith needed him right now, needed this. So he waited until Keith's breathing had evened out except for the occasional hitch, and his body was relaxed and boneless against Shiro's. 

"You ready to talk?" Shiro asked. 

Keith shifted slightly and made an unhappy noise into Shiro's neck, but then he sighed, resigned. "Yeah, all right." 

"So what was that?" 

"I guess... everything just hit me." 

Shiro frowned. It made sense, as far as it went, but he still felt like he was missing half the picture, the parts that tied it all together. 

"You've got a lot to feel," he said. "I get that. A lot to process. But can you tell me, why this? Why did this make everything come out for you? How do you feel about this?" 

Keith sniffed, wiping his face with his sleeve, and everything about it reminded Shiro of a much younger Keith, maybe younger than he'd ever seen him. The Keith Shiro had first met had already developed a tough, defiant shell. 

"I'm happy for you," Keith told him. "I'm really happy." 

"So why...?" 

"I saw you there," Keith said, "glowing like starlight, like a whole galaxy, and I thought... you belong there. We both have a place. A place that's best for us. I was worried we'd start to butt heads again with me in Black and you in the ship. When we tried it before... I know a lot of it was the witch's programming, but not all of it. Kuron was still you in a lot of ways and as much as I hated how you handled all that, I still understood. You didn't have enough to do. You were just trying to make a space for yourself and keep control of what you could, and we ended up stepping on each other's toes like crazy. That was pretty awful." 

Shiro found one of Keith's hands with his own - the prosthetic, but at this point it didn't make much difference to either of them - and rubbed over Keith's knuckles comfortingly with his thumb. "That's why you left," he said. 

"A lot of it, yeah," Keith admitted. "More than I realized at the time. The Blade needed me, but I really jumped at the chance to get away." 

"I'm sorry," Shiro said. 

"I knew it wasn't what you intended. I never blamed you." He chuckled darkly. "I also never questioned that it was really you. You don't always handle it well when you have to let other people do the fighting. So yeah. I've been worried. But this feels different. This feels so different. Felidae's a fighter, like the lions, and you looked so at home standing there. Ready to take on the universe." 

"Yeah," Shiro said. "That's what it feels like to me, too." 

Keith smiled, real and wide this time, with only a little bit of pain showing through the cracks. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were so worried?" Shiro asked. 

Keith looked away. "I didn't want... you've gone through so much and whatever you decided about what you wanted to do next I had to have your back." 

Shiro let out a sharp breath. "I know you have my back. I'd really like to be able to do the same for you. So please tell me when you feel like that." 

Keith still wasn't looking at him. "It wasn't a big deal," he said. "Not like... everything. Your arm, Haggar...." 

The argument was softened by the fact that their hands were still entwined, Shiro's thumb moving in soft circles across the back of Keith's hand, and Keith's weight was still soft and relaxed against Shiro. Shiro held back his annoyance, grounded by that contact. When he spoke, it was softer than it might have been. 

"So you thought you had to hold yourself back because, what? Because you didn't think I could handle you anymore? The you that I knew way back at the Garrison? The Keith who let people know in no uncertain terms if something bothered him?" 

Keith made a noise, a wordless, frustrated objection. "No, I know you can, but... you shouldn't have to. I grew up a lot and I learned to be strong and I've spent so much of my life leaning on you.... I learned to be calm and patient, and it's that grownup version of me that you finally said yes to." 

Shiro's hand tightened on Keith's. "Oh. Oh, Keith. That's not...." How could he explain how wrong Keith had been about the why of that answer? 

For a moment, he just leaned forward, letting his head rest on Keith's shoulder, pulling him closer. 

He felt so safe here like this. Warm and content. He'd been wrong about one thing. The bridge of Felidae might be his new calling, his new way of being a paladin, but right here, in Black with Keith, this was home. 

Suddenly he knew what to say. 

"You remember when you told me that you love every version of me?" he asked. 

"Of course," Keith said immediately, voice strong but still rough from crying. 

"Well, I love every version of you." 

Shiro could just barely hear the soft gasp that came in response to that. 

"I loved you when you were a little brat of a cadet who couldn't seem to let an insult go," he continued. "I loved you when we were first forming Voltron and you let Lance and the others get under your skin. I loved you when you got into Black for the first time after I died, and you were mourning me, and you were falling apart." 

Keith sniffed again, leaning into him. "Really?" he asked. 

"Really, Keith. When I said yes to you, it wasn't because I saw something in you I'd never seen before. I always knew you were capable of being a leader. The conviction and steadiness that it takes. I always knew what kind of person you were, who you'd turn out to be. I wasn't so sure about myself." He sighed softly. "I wasn't ready. You and Black taught me how to trust." 

Keith gave a startled, slightly lost-sounding laugh. "I don't understand how, but okay." 

"By just... always being there," Shiro said simply. He lifted his head so he could look Keith in the eye. "You've been holding all this back all this time because you thought you needed to be the strong one for once, but you've always been the strong one. You've always endured so much. You've always done whatever you needed to do to survive, to make it through, to save the universe, to save me." 

Keith shook his head. "Only because you taught me." 

"Then I guess we taught each other." He cradled Keith's face in his hands. "We've always leaned on each other. Listen to me, Keith. Always. And I never want that to change." 

Keith gave a lopsided smile. "I'm never going to be done needing you to take care of me, I guess." 

"Good," Shiro said firmly. "Keith. There's nothing I want more than to protect you. There's nothing I want more than to give you this." 

Keith examined him for a moment as if testing him for sincerity, and then he closed his eyes, and he said, "Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, that's... probably the end of the series? There might be another one but no promises. 
> 
> Anyway, come check out my [fandom](http://qwanderer.tumblr.com) and [novelist](http://irenewendywode.tumblr.com) blogs on tumblr!


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